Wonderfully Loved!

Just this Tuesday I met with Yiwei, and was invited to this event organised by crusade called, "The fellowship of the burning hearts". I mean, it sounded like something I needed in helping me make this major decision for next year, even though it's still a long way ahead. So I decided to go and she was kind enough to accompany me for it even though she already had of it before. But something really amazing happened on Friday! I was just reading Psalm 78 while i was on my way to work in the bus and I felt like God is telling me something about it. The Psalmist was talking about what God had done, the wonders He had shown the Isrealites and yet when he put them to the test, they were speaking against Him. This chapter was really a long one and it suddenly dawned upon me how burdened the psalmist must have felt then when he wrote about it reminding the people of God how much God has been doing for us and yet so often we complain and murmur against Him asking, "Why you give me this kind of life, why you this why you that!!!" I felt like the pslamist was saying, "have we forgotten God's goodness and faithfulness? Have we forgotten that he is the one who parted the red sea? Or do we not believe that He is that same God who did that many miracles, delivering His people out of slavery? Have we forgotten who really God is? Or do we not trust Him enough in His character? Is he really that tiny in our eyes and hearts that we can no longer trust Him in our worse situations and remember Him in our most wonderful times?" I thought to myself, maybe that has been my kind of heart condition lately.... So in the evening I went for "The fellowship of the burning hearts" and I was deeply encouraged by all the sharing that went on from each other. Even though I didn't know those who were around but I was so touched to know that there are hearts willing to serve the Lord despite of this crazy world that we are in. The most interesting thing is that Violet cried while sharing how delighted she was to hear so many positive Hearts that desires to go into full time. Haha!!! I'm deeply moved inside and more then encouraged to know that the staffs' heart's desire are so strong, praying and crying out for more labourers to join them in doing God's kingdom work. The best part was that, Sharon, Kok Hiang's wife shared with us her personal experience and struggles in going into full time, I was right down affirmative of what God was trying to tell me. All the more sure, when she shared from Numbers 13 and 14 and Deut as well. So nice, it was also talking about Moses leading the Isrealites into the land that was flowing with milk and honey. How apt was that... When the 12 leaders of the tribes were sent to give a report of Canaan, somehow only two came back with positive reports Numbers 13:26-33. And the people were swayed by the report given by the 10 other leaders. I was so encouraged by Moses when I read in Numbers 14:5-9 how him, Joshua and Caleb pleaded with the people for the need of faith to trust that God will surely bring them into this wonderful land regardless of the greatest obstacles before them, that God had no ill intentions!!! My heart just sank the very moment I realise how little have I been trusting God! I certainly have been looking upon my own inadequacies and trying so hard to make such decisions based upon my limited human logic which amounts to nothing in comparsion to God's mighty wisdom! What in the world??? Have I been swerved by the many many voices of man that I had forgotten God's precious promises? I knew it was God's word that I leaned on which gave me the faith and the basis to make that decision finally to answer to that full-time calling. Deuteronomy 8:3-5 lifted my heart up tremendously. I mean, I keep wondering, why do I have to stay for another year of work before I enter into full time ministry, and why God had placed me in my family? And somehow today, God gave me his answer, so sure and clear! So as to teach me that I do not live by bread alone, but on every word that comes forth from the mouth of the Lord Deuteronomy 8:3, and like how parent disciplines their children God disciplines me Deuteronomy 8:5 and allowing me to go through the heartaches so that I will know God's character well enough to trust Him through it all even in my ministry work so that at the end of everything, it will go well with me Deuteronomy 8:15-16. Isn't God amazing??? He just watches out for every single details of my life so that in the end it might go well with me.

"Do not be nibblers of the possible, but be grabblers of what others would not do!!!"