Two more weeks of busyness...
Gosh!!!
This week was such a tiring week.
Was rushing to set up my classroom
because of the change of theme.
I last remember changing it totally last month...
now, here it comes again. My principal have
been coming after me to change my corner.
i guess its good as it pushes me to finish my stuffs.
Friday was parents-teacher meeting. Within 4 hours
had to speak to at least 24 sets of parents about
their children's performance and showing them
all the portfolio of what the children usually does
in class. PHEW!!! Hee hee.... but at least without
the children around its so much less tiring.
Well so much of work. Sometimes i feel like quiting.
Its so very extremely tiring and stressful. These days
when i come home from work im so beat that i have
no appetite for dinner. OK!!! i know!!!! People will
start telling me, "AIYOH!!! you so skinny already den
still never eat!" Say all you want, i've had enough of
such comments. Well, sometimes i feel so tired of doing
what i'm doing. It's not that i no longer like teaching
the children anymore, just that being able to teach
them well requires so much of preparations everyday
and i feel like i'm losing my energy now. Probably that's
what happens towards the end of each semester.
Haha...
anyhow, i still enjoy the little children. They are the
sweetest and they can just melt my tiredness away.
They will be the ones to bring laughter to me for you
should hear what they say sometimes....
its so cute and funny.
Recently i have been able to have good times and
opportunities to relate with my family on individual basis.
There was one night when i was just having some light
snacks at the kitchen when my sis came to chat with
me about my dad. She hasnt been on good terms with
him and she finds it so hard to relate with him. And
so we started just chating casually about my dad about
how difficult she finds it to just talk to him. So as we
were chatting about it the Spirit really just moved in
our midst and we were both crying while sharing our
hearts out. I felt like God has also placed my dad's
heart in me that i could understand how difficult it
can be on his part that i cant help but cry for him.
I know deep in my heart i love my dad, yet i hate
whatever that has a control over him.
There are many times when i look at him from far
i wish i could hug him and give him a kiss and tell
him how much I love him, but i don't have the
courage to do that. He use to kiss me goodnight
when i was little, but it seems he is too ashamed
to do that now. Its as if he feels like he owes us
too much, that he can never be able to return
what he owes... not even his love for us can pay
it back. But will he ever understand that all i ever
want of him is just to come back to God and be safe
in God's hands? That's really all i ask for. I don't
need him to earn a lot of money. I don't need him
to climb the social ladder to make me proud of
him so that i can tell of my father to my friends.
Really... all i ever asked for is to see him happy
in the Lord. Thats all.
He always stares out of the window, and
i always wonder what is on his mind and what is
he looking at when he looks up to the sky. My
only hearts desire is to continue to keep him in
prayer that he will be drawn back to God's love
and be delievered.
You'll probably never understand what i feel until
u experience what my family is like...
But i'm contented.... because God understands.
Fully!!! Amen!
And.... you can wait long long for me to blog again
next round.
Hahahaha!!!
But thanks for being so faithful in checking in on my blog.
Do tag so i know u came by yah?
